i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
