Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
