well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
