K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The uberlube is also flammable
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Panties = found
Randomize
