All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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