Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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