My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
