I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pappa wants mamma naked
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
