We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
