so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
