someone get that fucking seahorse.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize