well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize