and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
