**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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