I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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