is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
