So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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