Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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