Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
