I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well you can't waste a boner
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize