they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
