quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize