i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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