i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
