i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
