So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
