My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
