just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
