you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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