So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
