all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
