I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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