who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
