your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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