chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
