I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
