Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize