Moan for me like Helen Keller
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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