first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
did you just send me my own nude
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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