Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
