hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize