Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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