I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
