We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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