just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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