Already got asked if we're dating
I want to have your abortion
from now on my penis is your penis
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
