I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize