I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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