The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't trust your balls anymore.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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