plz talk dirty to me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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