I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
