Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize