that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
