I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
