"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got chris browned last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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