Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
