I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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