Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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