We're facebook friends in real life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
