I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize