I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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