Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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