Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
